Decisions...decisions...
Should I stay or should I go?
I am in total dilemma. No, not a big pimple on my face. I am not that shallow ;P SIGH....
There's a 90 % chance that I have to go home ;'(
I don't know if going home is a good idea. Or is it?
Gosh, I was soooo mad when I found out that my visa cannot be extended. Mad like a crazy person. And then I got scared.. what if I have to go home? I haven't been home since I was 13 years old. I know a lot has change since then. This is my home, pretty much. My comfort zone. If I go back to Indo, I would have to make lots of adjustments. Well, one language... I still speak Indonesian, mind you... but all of these slangs I don't know about (malu..hihihi). Second of all, the weather... I am gonna miss winter, the snow, the feeling and everything. Gonna miss wearing a sweater, my peacoat, scarf and gloves. *ihix* I'm gonna miss going to Walgreens in 5 minutes instead of getting stuck in traffic for hours. Definitely gonna miss my family and my mom's cooking. *tears*
But the more I think, the more I understand that I have to get out of my bubble and spread my wings (cieehhh). I mean, I can't stay with my parents for the rest of my life. Pretty soon I am gonna have my own family (whenever that might be). Going back home means that I have to be a brave girl and getting to know myself a bit more, learn to take care of myself. Going back home means I have to get a job, get stuck in traffic, use internet dial up (booo....me love fast connection of internet). I HAVE TO GET A JOB!!!! Don't know what yet.. don't even bother to look for it yet.
On the bright side, Going back home means that I can visit Malaysia anytime I want..be closer to him. Exciting...ooohhh...and I get to be skinny again.
Skinny... hmpppphh.. I am still working on it ;P
But I am starting to question what I want. Gosh I am such a baby. Last month on my birthday, my family threw me a big birthday bash for me... lotsa hugs and kisses, waayyy over the top presents..as if it was the last birthday that they get to spend with me. So sad. I cried. I'm gonna miss them soooo much.
I have to make a decision as soon as next month.
I am excited to move forward with my life. But why is it so hard?
I am in total dilemma. No, not a big pimple on my face. I am not that shallow ;P SIGH....
There's a 90 % chance that I have to go home ;'(
I don't know if going home is a good idea. Or is it?
Gosh, I was soooo mad when I found out that my visa cannot be extended. Mad like a crazy person. And then I got scared.. what if I have to go home? I haven't been home since I was 13 years old. I know a lot has change since then. This is my home, pretty much. My comfort zone. If I go back to Indo, I would have to make lots of adjustments. Well, one language... I still speak Indonesian, mind you... but all of these slangs I don't know about (malu..hihihi). Second of all, the weather... I am gonna miss winter, the snow, the feeling and everything. Gonna miss wearing a sweater, my peacoat, scarf and gloves. *ihix* I'm gonna miss going to Walgreens in 5 minutes instead of getting stuck in traffic for hours. Definitely gonna miss my family and my mom's cooking. *tears*
But the more I think, the more I understand that I have to get out of my bubble and spread my wings (cieehhh). I mean, I can't stay with my parents for the rest of my life. Pretty soon I am gonna have my own family (whenever that might be). Going back home means that I have to be a brave girl and getting to know myself a bit more, learn to take care of myself. Going back home means I have to get a job, get stuck in traffic, use internet dial up (booo....me love fast connection of internet). I HAVE TO GET A JOB!!!! Don't know what yet.. don't even bother to look for it yet.
On the bright side, Going back home means that I can visit Malaysia anytime I want..be closer to him. Exciting...ooohhh...and I get to be skinny again.
Skinny... hmpppphh.. I am still working on it ;P
But I am starting to question what I want. Gosh I am such a baby. Last month on my birthday, my family threw me a big birthday bash for me... lotsa hugs and kisses, waayyy over the top presents..as if it was the last birthday that they get to spend with me. So sad. I cried. I'm gonna miss them soooo much.
I have to make a decision as soon as next month.
I am excited to move forward with my life. But why is it so hard?
Labels: Well Being
posted by qt pie at
5:17 PM
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