Promises

Currently Listening to: I Believe in Love by Dixie Chicks

It's 1:35 AM and I am sleepy. My contacts are bothering me. Prolly have to take them out by now.


It's been a long day. It's been a long week. I swear I feel like I am in a roller coster ride. One day good, one day bad, one minute happy, one minute sad.

I am so happy that as of now only few people knows about this blog. I'd like to keep it that way. People are judgemental nowadays. I am too...in a way.

As of now, I am trying really hard of figuring out what is it that really bothering me. It seems to me that I get annoyed with simple little things. Gosh...I hate seeing myself that way. I guess I have soul searching to do. And the funny thing is, I don't have that much time...tick tock.

It's hard to just focus on fixing myself and separate myself from all of these commotions that are going on. Like I am still holding grudges against all of these people surrounding me. Not all of them, but a majority. I don't remember when did I become this bitter woman? I found out that the world is not meant to be painted with rainbow colors. BLEAH... I guess I just have to live with the fact that where I live is not a good place. Of course the other side of the argument is that no matter where you live, as long as you have found that peace within you...then you'll be okay. Easy to say, hard to do. Again, this grudge will kill me one day.

GOTTA STOP ALL OF THESE NONSENSE.

So I will make these promises to myself:

-I need to not pretend to be happy when I am not happy.

-I don't need to set my feelings aside to please other people. I need to appreciate my feelings more. I chose who I love.

-I need to learn that in fact it is ok to be happy. That there's nothing wrong with being in my own skin. That people will talk behind me whether I like it or not...afterall they are entitled to their own opinion. It doesn't determine who I am. In the end of the day, the only person who knows me is well..me.

-I don't need to bring the past if I want to have a future.

-I need to stop blaming other people or the bad situations. Because I know and trust myself better to not get in the harm's way.

-I need to stop with all these hustle and bustle and start to smell the roses. That as long as the sun is still shining, I am still living.

-I need to learn to forgive and forget. Let bygones be bygones.

-I need to stop writing dark entries. At least decrease it to twice a month...hehehhee...

I feel better now. Even better after these contact lenses are out.

I made a promise to myself. Locked it away deep down inside
Told my heart we'd wait it out
Swore we'd never compromise
Oh I'd rather be alone
Like I am tonight
Than settle for the kind of love
That fades before the morning light

Silence stared me in the face
And I finally heard its voice
It seemed to softly say
That in love you have a choice
Today i got the answer
And there's a world of truth behind it
Love is out there waiting somewhere
You just have to go and find it

I believe in love, I believe in love
A love that's real, love that's strong
Love that lives on and on
Yes I believe in love